You’re About to Become a Caregiver
Preparing ahead of time will help you do a better job
A caring family
Eugene Huttie of Northampton (left, ) is caregiver as well as husband to his wife, Kathleen. Kathleen Huttie has Huntington’s disease, a hereditary brain disorder that affects functions like balance. Find out more about the family and about Huntington’s by clicking here.
Your Community, Your Hospital
There has been tremendous progress treating many medical conditions. Despite this, most older adults eventually develop complex illnesses like heart or kidney failure, advanced dementia or recurrent cancer. People at this stage of illness have symptoms that are difficult to manage. They also face challenging emotional and family issues as they make choices about their health care. To help them, we’ve created a new program called OACIS* Services. The OACIS team of doctors and nurses guides patients and their families physically, emotionally and spiritually as they make their illness journey.
* Optimizing Advanced Complex Illness Support
Taking on the care of a chronically ill, disabled or elderly person is a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it can give you the satisfaction of being needed, keeping your loved one at home and strengthening the bond between you. On the other hand, caregiving can take a toll on the caregiver.
Whether it’s brought on by a sudden, catastrophic event like a stroke or a gradual decline in physical or mental health, caring for someone is a big responsibility, says geriatrician Catherine Glew, M.D., of Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. “Caregiving impacts your work, finances and family relationships,” she says. “Caregivers—especially if they’re elderly or caregiving over a long period—are at increased risk for depression and poor health.”
“It’s important to prepare well, so you can enjoy your relationship,” says Glew’s colleague, nurse practitioner Cynthia Himpler, C.R.N.P. Here’s how:
Plan how you’ll care for yourself. Exercise, eat well and get enough sleep. Get regular checkups and see your doctor if you have a health problem or feel anxious. Regularly schedule time for yourself—a 10-minute walk, an afternoon off—so frustrations don’t have a chance to build up. If you can balance your needs and your loved one’s, you’ll be a better, healthier caregiver.
Line up help. Build a network of resources now so it will be there when you need it. Include professionals like nurses, social workers, community agencies and home health services, and consider caregiver training for yourself. Have family members commit to specific times and tasks. Say “yes” to friends and neighbors who offer services. Consider respite or day care to give yourself a break. Use the Internet and caregiving blogs for support and information.
Don’t go overboard. Yes, you’re taking charge, but let your loved one do as much for herself as possible. It takes pressure off you and respects her dignity.
Stay connected. Both you and your loved one can benefit from social and church groups, senior centers and organizations like Community Exchange (which allows members to swap services). Don’t give up your own friends.
Plan for the future. Talk about what your loved one wants and set up advance directives like living wills and powers of attorney. Plan for different scenarios, and be ready to change a plan if it’s not working out. Investigate different levels of care and tour facilities before you need one; some have waiting lists.
Create a safe home. Many organizations offer home safety assessments. Adaptations like bathroom rails and stair lifts can help your loved one maintain a degree of safety and independence.
Stay positive. Take pleasure from small things—for example, time spent together listening to music or looking at old photos.
“Becoming a caregiver can be overwhelming,” Glew says. “Do your best with the resources you have, let go of guilt and try to maintain balance. It will make life easier for both of you.”
Want to Know More about long-distance caregiving, the You’re About to Become a Caregiver class and local resources for caregivers? Click above.
The Sandwich Generation
An estimated 22 percent of Americans can be classified as the “sandwich generation”—simultaneously caring for their parents and their children. This often comes at a time when people are looking forward to their golden years.
“You suddenly take on new responsibilities just as you’re contemplating an empty nest,” says nurse practitioner Cynthia Himpler. “You may begin to feel pushed from both ends.” The bulk of caregiving typically falls on women, at a stage when many are juggling traditional roles, retirement planning, many financial demands and the pangs of an emptying nest. “Elder care can become an added stressor that taps their coping reserves,” Himpler says.
“Be realistic about what you can and can’t do,” she says. Let your children help with their grandparents’ needs—it encourages responsibility and strengthens family bonds. “Keep open communication, work together to solve problems, and above all, keep your sense of humor and understanding.”
This page last updated 2/12/08 04:08 PM
